Congrats to the Winners of the Golf Jokes Contest!

Phil Copson, winner of the Jordan Spieth signed Under Armour hat

An old member died and in his will was a request for his ashes to be scattered in the par 3 hole on top of the hill, because in 35 years of being a member he had never had a hole in one on that hole. The committee granted permission, so his family, the committee and several club members gathered at the hole and stood with their heads bowed. The vicar said a few words, took the lid off the urn and started to pour. At that moment, the wind came up and blew him into the bunker. – Phil Copson

Winners of a Golfshot embroidered Under Armour polo and a Golfshot divot tool

A man went to his doctor because he couldn’t sleep and no prescriptions worked. His doctor said, “I know you like golf, so I want you to try this. When you go to bed, think about the best golf course you ever played and play a round of golf in your head.” After several days, the doctor called to ask how he has been sleeping. The man replied, “Doctor, I did what you said. On the first hole I hit a great drive down the center of the fairway. My second shot was one foot from the hole and I made the birdie putt. The second hole, same thing. On the third hole, I hit the ball in the woods and was up all night looking for the ball.” – Anonymous

Two lady golfers were walking down the fairway when they noticed the greens keeper pushing a mechanical spreader on the green. One lady turns to her playing partner and says, “What’s he putting on the green?” Her playing partner replies, “Ball repellant!” – James McDermott

I’ve been having problems keeping my shots in play so I went to the range with a bucket of balls and practiced my drops. – Ken Kelleher

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud. - Anonymous